Feb 9

Today I would like to talk a little bit about doubt. I will admit it I am some what of a skeptic. I know that God is real and when I leave this earth I will eternally be singing among the choir of angels at the gloriousness of it all, but sometimes I doubt about things that happen here on earth.

What kind of things?

Well mostly the things I can't control. Things that I truly believe in, even people I believe in. Sometimes I even doubt God a little. Oh sure the scripture says, "Ask and it shall be given" But have you every felt after you have asked well, we'll see if I was really meant to have.

Well today I read in Mark 9 about Jesus healing a boy who had been possessed by an evil spirit from a very young age. This boy could not speak and would basically have seizures that would sometimes do harm to him. The boy's father heard about all of the miraculous things Jesus and his disciples were doing decided that this was the only way his boy would be rid of this spirit.

Now to set the scene in case you don't recall the story Jesus had been on top of the mountain with Peter, James and John and had been visited by Moses, Elijah, and God. So lets just say Jesus had a fresh anointing about him, I know he didn't need it but you know there had to be a little more confidence about him, I know I would be feeling it.

But anyways back to the story. This father was among the crowd that had gathered at the base of the mountain and an argument had apparently broken out. When Jesus got near to the crowd he asked his disciples what was going on and the boy's father spoke up telling him that he had brought his son to be healed and that the disciples had tried, I am assuming here, every prayer in the book but they couldn't heal the boy.

Jesus got upset and he called them all faithless and basically I think the spiritual bubble that he had from being on top of the mountain burst and he realized it was going to take more time to teach these people to be true believers in themselves and not just him. He wanted the boy brought up to him and as the boy was brought closer the evil spirit inside I think panicked and threw the boy into another convulsion. Jesus being the compassionate one that he is asked how long this had been going on and the father replied since he was very small.

Now this part is where I start to feel for the father. Because as the end of his dialog to Jesus he made two statements. "Have mercy on us and help us. Do something if you can"

Oh how I love Jesus' reply and I can only imagine the expression on his face as he answered, "What do you mean, 'If I can?' Anything is possible if a person believes."

OK now here is where my heart truly bleeds for the man and I want to say "I understand how you feel!!"

The father instantly replied, "I do believe, but help me not to doubt!"

I don't know about you but that is so me. I have never had a scripture jump out at me like that before. As soon as I read that it almost took my breath away. As a matter of fact I read it several times to make sure I was reading it correctly.

Yes doubt is very tricky and as Christians we tell ourselves I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me. But the moment we don't get that answer we want when we want it then that little spirit of doubt comes in and we start thinking we weren't meant to have the new job, or car, or marriage, or family, or healing. Because we didn't have enough faith to believe. I wish I could say its easy and here are the steps to not doubting but its not my friend and I will be the first to admit to you that I have tendency to doubt all the time, especially in myself. But the only thing that I can see that works is going back to Jesus and if you start to feel that doubt creeping back in then just say these words:

I DO BELIEVE, BUT HELP ME NOT TO DOUBT!!!

Because as the story goes on Jesus did heal that boy and I personally believe that father never doubted again.

Course if you let your doubt get the best of you like it did Israel and they built a golden calf to worship and God killed most of them.

Today's reading:
MArk 8:31- Ch 9
Exodus 25-34